Monday: Essay on "Pretty Women"

I think I am going to start doing a new thing here. There are things I want to discuss that don't quite fit in with the format of posting I have established. So it is time to change!

In addition to all the usual fun stuff you've come to expect, I am going to write separate "essays" I suppose, with as much as frequency as they occur to me.

So let's see how this goes....

It seems to me that our women - our sisters, our mothers, our daughters, our wives, our girlfriends - are plagued by an epidemic of insecurity. It's the little things...like fretting over a day's growth of body hair, leaving the house without make up, whether or not the shoes and purse match. I've listened to my sisters lament sexual un-fulfillment because their vaginas are "ugly" - and that is only one of the pleasures women deny themselves because they are too self conscious about some supposedly "flawed" feature.

I have not been immune to this disease, and it has taken me years to cure myself of it. I still ail. You know what I credit as my cure? No media. I don't own a television, I don't read magazines, I don't go to the gym, I don't go to the movies. I have tried to remain as distant from media and advertising as possible. I've noted that when I do participate in mass media, I begin to feel poorly about myself. Talk about conflict: on television a commercial for Denny's, saturated with images of food, is followed by a commercial for a gym, where men lift weights and women are relegated to hamster wheel cardio machines. At the market low-fat low-calorie ice cream sandwiches are seated next to "extra rich" ice creams. Advertising affects us all, whether or not we are conscious of it. Advertising would not be such a huge industry if it was ineffective. Hell, there would be advertisements for cigarettes on television all the time if they weren't deemed influential to young people!

Advertising seems to have its sights set mostly on women and an exploitation of the insecurities it creates. Take a moment to notice advertising. Sit down during an hour of television and record what products are advertised and to which demographic. When that commercial to join a gym appears, seriously consider your own thoughts. Just try it. I dare you.

As a result of our society's constant presentation of unrealistic standards for women, my sisters seem riddled with inhibiting insecurity. The worst consequence of this seems to be an image-based arena of competition. I have had women admit to me that they dress up "for each other" - in other words, to best their sisters. I have had women admit to me that they will endure uncomfortable shoes and hours of superficial preparation just to outdo their sisters. In a world dominated by men and gender inequality, is that really how we should be behaving toward each other? We should be uniting, not competing. After all, a truly secure person worries not about anyone else. Rather she is comfortable with herself and nonjudgmental. Confidence is the most attractive feature of all.

I don't subscribe to the conventions of "pretty." I have short hair, I don't worry about my weight, I don't shave my armpits, I don't wear make up, and I don't wear shoes that I can't walk or ride my bike in. I don't have a gym membership, I eat whatever I want, and if I forget to put on deodorant and end up with a human fragrance, I don't panic. I have big legs and they have cellulite, but they are strong good legs that take me everywhere I need to go. When I look in the mirror, I love the person I see. I have experienced no difficulties attracting and satisfying partners from all walks of life. I have my bad days, but mostly I feel fulfilled in life.

I have defined my own standards of beauty.

Who's standards are you trying to live up to?